The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize
