So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
