This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize