do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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