I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Randomize
