Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
