dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
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Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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