Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize