I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
