The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
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i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
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It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.