The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
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The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
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moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I have fence marks all over my body
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.