For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
You're earring is so big in my mouth
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
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I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
The power of my boobs compel you