What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.