the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win