Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Randomize
