my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
