Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
