I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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