I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
