Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
