I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
