If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize