covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
