I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
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