After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
