Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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