We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Someone came in the potted fern
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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