I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
