I think I died a long time ago.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Just puked most of my soul out..
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