i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
