i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
