Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
