He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
