I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
