he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
