In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
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