I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
