i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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