And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
