I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Yo dont text me then not text me
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
