It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
