smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
