Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
