Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
