Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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