the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
