We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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