Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
