Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
