I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize