nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
