Screwed.edu
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
