yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
