I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
