Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
