she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Your dad touched me again.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
