Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize