Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
