I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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