You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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