Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
