Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
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