I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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