the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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