I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
