Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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