Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
